Olympics

It’s 2021, and the Summer 2020 Olympics are about to begin… with no spectators. Like everything else in 2020, these Olympics will undoubtedly be historic and weird. Take the athletes’ beds in Olympic Village, for example. 

I saw these beds online in The Skimm. They reported, “The world’s best sports competitors are set to spend their nights on cardboard beds -allegedly designed to collapse under the weight of fornicators to discourage sex amid COVID-19.” 

That’s definitely historic and weird, but also hilarious.  

Poor Japan. Japan must feel like a jilted bride. Like she planned a huge wedding only to have the groom call it off, leaving behind a stack of bills and a party she doesn’t want to attend. But Japan will make the most of it. She’s a gracious host. 

In honor of the Olympics, I thought I’d write a blog about my experiences in this year’s host country. I recently wrote about taking my son to Japan, but that wasn’t the first time I’ve been. In fact, my very first international layover was in Narita, Japan. I was about 25 years old, and I’ll never forget how utterly exhausted I was after the flight. When I got to my room, everything hurt. All I wanted to do was put my hotel kimono on and crawl into bed. I couldn’t believe that the flight attendants twice my age were meeting up to Karaoke. Over time, I built up my stamina, and eventually, I joined them. 

Karaoke is big in Japan. Of course, it’s all in fun, but the singers take their performances so seriously. Which only makes it that much harder for me not to laugh. I remember one very frumpy flight attendant who wore lace-up shoes and a sack of a uniform. She hadn’t bothered to put on make-up or brush her hair for the flight. But for her “show,” she came downstairs all dolled up. She was even wearing a gown. It was cute to see her get dressed up, but I thought, “Couldn’t you have put some of this same effort into getting ready for work?” 

Japan is a very senior trip. But early in my career, I went there often as an international reserve. At that time, you were either a domestic flight attendant or an international one. Obviously, I was an international flight attendant, which meant that we had to attend additional training. Somewhere, I have a picture of myself in training wearing business attire (required), a full face of make-up, and my hair pulled up in a tight bun. We would get in trouble if we had any wisps of hair escaping our perfect buns. Come to think of it, I’m not sure how the queen of Karaoke passed international class. 

When I was hired, a second language was required. In fact, I had to interview in Spanish. As international flight attendants, we were also offered language training. It was optional. And it was a crash (3-day) course. I took “Air Japanese.” After all these years, the only thing I remember how to say is “beef or chicken” and “Do you want a beer?” The problem with Air Japanese was that once I pulled out my Japanese phrases, our Japanese passengers would start rattling off to me in Japanese. It gave them the very false impression that I could speak their language.

On our layovers, we didn’t just Karaoke. Sometimes we would go to a bathhouse. Bathing is also serious business in Japan. As a crew, we’d spend the entire day, completely naked, soaking in hot tubs, cold tubs, salt tubs, salt rubs, saunas, steam rooms… 

I admire the Japanese culture. It can be somewhat formal and full of ritual. On one layover, I was fortunate enough to witness the opening of a grocery store. This wasn’t a grand opening, just the daily opening of the store. The metal door rolled up, exposing the entire staff lined up facing the few of us waiting outside. Then all at once, perfectly in sync, the employees bowed. To us customers! It was a mini ceremony. And I felt like clapping. Incidentally, I witnessed this same ritual recently when I took my son to Japan. The customer service agents at the airport did the exact same thing when they opened. What a way to start the day.   

It’s hard not to love Japan. It’s like nowhere else. The people are thoughtful, hard-working, and they take pride in even the smallest tasks. For instance, whatever cheap souvenir you buy, they will always wrap it up for you like it’s a present.  

Japan also has something else you won’t find just anywhere: integrity. Once, while walking by the train station in Osaka, I noticed all the bikes were unlocked. Apparently, commuters can return at the end of the day and actually expect to find their bikes waiting for them. Imagine that.

Japan is a great country, and it’s a shame people won’t be allowed to travel there during the games this year. But to all the athletes and fornicators, I say: Let The Games Begin! We’ll just have to visit another year, and enjoy this year’s games on TV.

P.S.

While I won’t be attending these Olympics, I have been to the Olympics before. As a junior flight attendant, I bid Atlanta during the ’94 Olympics and held it! I bought tickets to events for every layover. I was broke in those days, so I went to obscure events like badminton and archery because popular events like swimming and gymnastics were too expensive. But I didn’t care. I was just happy to be there. And, of course, I took my mom with me on one of those trips. 

Working those flights was so much fun. All month, we carried athletes to and from the games. One of my flying partners sewed us American flag aprons. And we collected autographs all over our aprons from the athletes onboard -including the entire U.S. synchronized swim team who won gold that year. But I can’t find it! I’m sure I kept it, and as soon as I see it, I’ll upload the picture. Whatever year that may be.