Tea Time at Hotel Cafe Royal

Tea at Hotel Cafe Royal (the second stop on my afternoon tea crawl through London) is a very opulent affair. Unlike Fortnum and Mason’s bright and airy tearoom, Cafe Royals’ tearoom is dark and heavy, dripping in gold and velvet.

Walking in feels like stepping into a jewelry box. And I felt a bit like that tiny, plastic ballerina spinning in circles with my eyes darting around the room dizzily, taking in all the details.

The lighting is, of course, romantic. Mirrored walls reflect a soft glow emanating from elaborate sconces.

A classical nude is painted on the ceiling.

Rounded tables and chairs are set surprisingly low to the ground. Perhaps by design to make you feel even more overwhelmed by the surroundings. And a live pianist is playing familiar tunes like… Pomp and Circumstance? That was a surprise, but perhaps it’s cultural. Maybe the British don’t play that song in their graduation ceremonies. Possibly they don’t have graduation ceremonies.

Anyway, the setting is spectacular and, come to find out, historic. Hotel Cafe Royal has been a fashionable hangout for writers, artists, aristocrats, and celebrities since 1865. In the stairwell, on the way to the loo, you pass walls lined with photos of famous patrons like Princess Diana, Mick Jagger, Elizabeth Taylor, Bridget Bardot, Mohammad Ali, Louis Armstrong, Andy Warhol, and David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust. In fact, in 1973, Bowie retired his alter-ego here with a party dubbed “The Last Supper.” The list goes on and on: Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, Winston Churchill, Harry Styles…

Currently, Cafe Royal features a special tea menu to commemorate the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.
We started with a glass of champagne and a crab brioche appetizer. This was followed by tasty and generously stuffed tea sandwiches of egg salad, smoked salmon, coronation chicken, and roast beef with horseradish.
Between courses, we were served a “jam penny” of strawberry meringue with ice cream to cleanse the palate. It was presented in a golden envelope as though it were a gift. Looking around the room, I noticed everyone, regardless of age, open their jam penny grinning like a little kid unwrapping a birthday present. I guess the chef is also a marketing genius.

The next course, scones, was served with clotted cream and a delightful earl grey jelly -made in-house.
With the scones, we switched from champagne to tea. Of course, we chose their Platinum Jubilee Blend, which was slightly botanical and, surprisingly… BLUE!

They served this tea with fresh lemon juice. When added, it turned the tea brown. A little science lesson to go along with the tea. Usually, I add lots of sugar and prefer my tea to taste like candy. However, in my opinion, this tea tasted best plain and blue.
Once again, I was too full to touch my dessert plate. But the sweets were lovely and inventive. The shoe of a monarch stuffed with banana and chocolate ganache / A royal hat that my friend said: “tasted like wedding cake” / A royal diamond filled with sour cherry kirsch mousse / Her Majesty’s handbag infused with orange marmalade ganache.

Tea at Hotel Cafe Royal is memorable, if perhaps a little gimmicky… but in a good way. Their tea may not feel traditional, but it does feel regal, as though you’re having tea in a gilded Romanov ballroom. (or inside of a jewelry box)

In keeping with the atmosphere and in celebration of The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, a hand-made replica of The Queen’s Coronation Crown is displayed in the center of the room.

So, if you find yourself in London, feeling extra fancy and craving tea, I recommend this expensive, over-the-top experience. 70 pounds per person, 80 pounds with a glass of champagne. Which I also recommend.